3 ways to overcome fear
Updated: Mar 11, 2021
Are you in your own personal lockdown?
Apparently, our minds are naturally more attracted to negative thoughts and emotions than positive ones. It’s an evolutionary thing that has helped us survive through the ages. Makes sense really. To survive you needed to know when things were getting sticky, to get the hell out, stay and fight, or just freeze up and wait for the danger to pass.
When this ancient and instinctive stress reaction kicks in today, your body still tenses and contracts. You feel as anxious and in danger as when that wild animal was going to have you for dinner!
When anxiety takes hold, you can’t think straight, your capacity to make decisions, concentrate or feel confident just go down the drain.
You start having negative, self-critical, demotivating thoughts about your own ability to do stuff, be around people or face situations.
And here’s where it gets messy, you start to BELIEVE your thoughts. You feel rubbish and this is when you start building a FEAR WALL.
There is no real danger - no wild animal is chasing you, but it feels like it and you’re SCARED. You believe Your FEAR WALL protects you from danger.
Each FEAR WALL is personal, but there are some common foundation stones: Do you recognise any of these thoughts? ☹
I’m not good enough
Everyone thinks I’m stupid
What if ….
It’s going to be a disaster
They’re going to find out that ...
Everybody is better than me
I should have done ….
If only I’d done that ...
I’m not up to it
I’m not worth it
It’s too late
Because your mind is creative and quick and imaginative (yes it really is !), you imagine the scenes of failure and embarrassment and disaster that go with these thoughts and believe them. Your mind registers these negative thoughts as true, and so it becomes easier to add a few more bricks onto your wall.
Look at your wall now!
Now, just remember, this is happening in your own mind. Before you’ve even done anything.
It may feel real, your body may react as if it is happening, it may look real in your thoughts but nothing has happened in reality. Out there!
This is your FEAR WALL talking! It’s your apprehension of what might happen. Your mind is playing tricks on you! And you've chosen to believe it!
The more you decide to stay within the boundaries of your own personal confinement, the stronger your FEAR WALL becomes. The negative downward spiral continues.
→ negative thoughts
→ unhappy feelings
→ limiting actions
And yet, the FEAR WALL is only in your own mind, it’s not reality!
The good news!
However long that wall has been there, however long you've been building it up, you can knock it down!
Imagine the freedom of going beyond it and discovering everything that a new fuller life can offer you.
Are you ready to:
F.ace E.verything A.nd R.ise
(that’s my first wonderful acronym!)
How can you kick down the wall?
Well, how did it get there in the first place?
With your negative, self-critical, self-doubting thoughts that you decided to believe! Lets look at how to swap them out!
Try these 3 steps: Recognise, Challenge, Believe.
Recognise the negative thoughts and label them as such. Repeat to yourself that this is a thought, not reality!
Challenge the negative thoughts and question their validity and accuracy
You: “I’m rubbish”
Your logical mind: “Aren’t you confusing doing something that’s not great and being? You can do something daft or not great, without it affecting who you are! Let’s rephrase: I did something that I can do better and improve next time. Doesn’t that feel better, les confined?”
You: Yes, that feels better, it’s like having a second chance. It doesn’t affect who I am, I can still be me and confident!
Believe in yourself!
How Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapy can help you kick your wall down once and for all!
CB hypnotherapy works by looking at the connections between your thoughts, feelings, and actions and uses hypnosis to install powerful, self-affirming, positive thoughts and beliefs deep in your mind. These new allies will help you knock down your wall consciously and confidently.
In our sessions we unpack your wall, look at the different bricks, and you learn to use effective coping skills to swap out those negative, useless thoughts for more self-confident beliefs that will help you overcome your FEAR!
Not only do you knock the wall down, but you also gain self-confidence, self-belief, and powerful mind tools you can use for and in your whole life!